“Hand me that towel, Elsie! Now!”

I handed my uncle the white towel, which was immediately soaked in red as he pressed it to the large gash on the young boy’s thigh. I grabbed some more towels to replace the one that was soaked. My uncle threw the bloodied towel into the wicker basket in the corner of the room. I handed him another towel. It went on like this for a while until we were able to slow the flow of blood. Once he was able to clean the wound and examine it, Uncle Eric decided it wasn’t life threatening, despite all the blood loss.

“I need to stitch this up,” he said to the young boy whose face was ashen.

The boy nodded while I moved around to get the appropriate materials for my uncle. I set them on the tray to his left and waited for further instruction. He wanted me to hold the towel to the wound. I smiled reassuringly to the boy, who gave me a small smile in return. Uncle Eric made me move the towel and he got started. I moved to the boy’s head. I pulled off my gloves and took his small hand into mine.

“What’s your name?”

“Robbie,” he said in a small voice.

“And how old are you, Robbie?”

“Nine.”
“Did you just turn nine or are you almost ten?”

“I turned nine three months ago. Papa told me when I was nine I could help him in the field. I was almost a man.”

I rubbed his hand. “Nine is pretty big. Do you like helping your father in the field?”
His small, round face lit up a little. “I love it. It’s fun to be helping Papa and spending all my time with him. He talks to me while we work.”
I glanced at my uncle and saw that he was halfway through his task.

“What kind of things do you and your father talk about?”

The little boy started telling me some of the things he and his father discussed, from his father teaching him about the soil and most effective ways to plant their various crops, to him complaining about his younger sisters.

“Papa told me that I’m their older brother and they just want my attention. That’s why they follow me around and talk to me all the time.”
I smiled. “That is all it is, Robbie. I have two younger cousins and they followed me and my older cousins around all the time. I think they just want to be included and sometimes feel excluded because they are younger.”
Robbie nodded his understanding. “I try to be patient with them but it’s not easy when they break something of mine or won’t let me have any time to myself.”
“You could make a bargain with them,” I suggested. “For example, you can tell them if they will give you say an hour to yourself, you will play a game with them for an hour or two. Or vice versa. After you have supper, you can play with them and tell them they have to let you have the rest of the night to yourself.”
“Do you think it’ll work?”
“It’s worked for me but it’ll probably take some time for them to get used to it and accept that that’s the way it’s going to be. How old are your sisters?”
“Zettie is six and Rowena is five,” he answered. “I’m going to try what you said.”
I glanced down again at my uncle. He was almost done. Robbie had forgotten about what my uncle was doing and was engrossed in our conversation.

“You should and I hope it works for you. Do you have any other siblings?”

“I have one older brother who left for Baerney when he was seventeen.”
“How old were you?”
“Eight. It was two years ago. I miss him. He hasn’t come home since. At first he wrote us letters, but we haven’t gotten any in a few months. Mommy is worried and Papa tries to act like he isn’t but I can tell he is.”

“All done,” Uncle Eric said, winking at me.

“Really?” Robbie asked. “That wasn’t so bad.”
Uncle Eric patted his lower leg. He’d put a gauze bandage over the stitches. I went to the cabinet to see if we had some pants and a shirt in Robbie’s size so he could get out of the bloodstained clothes. I found a pair of pants that were maybe a size too big and a shirt that was the perfect size. Uncle Eric helped him change while I busied myself with cleaning up the examining room so it would be ready for the next emergency.

“Bye, Elsie,” Robbie said.
“Bye, Robbie. Be sure to get some candy for you and your sisters on your way out.”

He waved to me and walked out of the examining room with Uncle Eric following him. I gathered the medical instruments my uncle had used and took them to the sink in the other room to sterilize them. I worked quickly and efficiently because you never knew when someone else would come into the clinic. 

Uncle Eric was a doctor who serviced a few of the smaller towns in Dellhaven. Daemarrel, where I grew up, is one of the largest towns near the coast where we lived. There were five towns within just a few miles that were smaller and came to Daemarrel for market days. A lot of the towns did not have a practicing doctor. The ones that were there moved to the capital where they could make a better living. My uncle sometimes took whatever forms of payment a person could provide, even if it was just a loaf of bread or a dress or some kind of livestock. He always said that people shouldn’t be punished for being poor. Everyone deserves medical attention.

Most people in my town and the surrounding cities made their livings as fishermen, farmers like Robbie’s family, builders, or in service to some of the wealthy citizens. Those that did not mind being far away from their families, or were bachelors, went to the capital, Baerney, to work for the king or the families there or on boats that delivered goods to other countries. I’m guessing that’s what Robbie’s older brother did. There were more wealthy families in Baerney and the towns surrounding. There were more opportunities there but it was not easy or cheap to live in those areas because of taxes, goods and services were a lot more expensive on that side of the country.

Baerney is on the other side of the country from Daemarrel. So people weren’t wealthy or even well off most of the time and the service my uncle offered was helping people who otherwise would have to let wounds that came from working with your hands fester and they would potentially lose a limb or die.

I finished with my tasks and took the instruments back into the examining room. I stripped the medical table of its sheets, dumping them in the same basket as the cloths. I quickly made the table back up with fresh sheets and sterilized the room by wiping it down.

“You were excellent in there, Elsie,” Uncle Eric said as we walked to his office.

I leaned against the doorframe and crossed my arms over my stomach.

“Thank you. Did his father say how it happened?”

“He was careless with an ax. It’s a good thing it did not go deeper. I told them to come back in a couple of weeks and I instructed them on how to keep it clean and cared for. They will be back in a few weeks so I can take the stitches out.”

I nodded. “I’m going to go back up front. I believe we have a few patients coming in to see you for some minor injuries and illnesses in an hour or two.”
He waved me off and went back to whatever he’d been doing. I walked back to the receiving room of the clinic where I’d been when Robbie’s father came in carrying him. I took my seat behind the desk which faced the door and started going through some papers on my desk. I also checked the appointment books to see how many patients would be coming in this afternoon. After that, I went about making sure everything was stocked for the next round of patients. Two hours later, a young mother walked in with her two children. One was a baby and the other a toddler who had her thumb in her mouth and looked miserable. I guided them back to the examination room.

Ӂ

The next day, I walked into the house through the back door into the kitchen. My aunt Josie was at the stove pulling a whistling teapot off it. She glanced behind her when I closed the door.

“I dropped Winnie and Adam at Donald and Lela’s house,” I said.

“You’re not working at the clinic today, are you?”

I shook my head. I had today off from the clinic. My older cousins, Victoria and Henry, were at the clinic today. Henry is a doctor as well. He’d studied in Baerney and returned home last year to work with his father. Victoria worked as a nursing assistant, just as my aunt Josie and I did. Adam and Winifred still had their studies, and when we were all at the clinic the governess stayed with them. The clinic was a family business and it took all of us to help keep it running. My family wasn’t wealthy but we lived in a decent house that used to be my Uncle Eric’s parents’ home before they passed away. We lived about two miles from the city center and not far from the coast, which I could hear when we left the windows up at night. There was a lot of land behind the house, which was perfect for horseback riding.
Aunt Josie was pouring tea into three cups.

“Do you have guests?”
“I do, actually,” she said carefully. “Will you join me?”

“Do I have to? I was planning on reading the new book Uncle Eric bought me back from his last trip to Baerney. It’s been weeks since I’ve had a day off.”

She hesitated, wringing her hands and looking down the hall towards the front of the house. I frowned at her.

“I know that but I would like you to join us. Please,” she said.

“Very well,” I said.

I grabbed another cup and poured some tea into it. I followed her down the hall which led to the front of the house. The parlor was to the left of the door. We walked in and I saw an older couple sitting on the couch against the right wall. They weren’t that much older than Aunt Josie and Uncle Eric. I studied them because there was something familiar about the both of them. I cocked my head to the side. Recognition bolted through me and I stepped back. They both looked like me. The woman was an older version of me with the same honey-brown skin, high, sharp cheekbones, full, pink lips, and petite nose. My oval, jade green eyes matched the man’s. The resemblance to him was just as recognizable. I had his strong chin and prominent brow as well as his light brown hair coloring. But it couldn’t be them, could it? No. They were dead. These were just two people who happened to bear an uncanny resemblance to me.

“Why don’t you have a seat, Elsie?” Aunt Josie said in her sweet, quiet voice.

My legs carried me to the chair beside hers and across from our visitors. I perched on the edge with the teacup settled between both of my hands. I waited for one of the adults in the room to speak.

“Els,” Aunt Josie said. “These are your parents.”
“No. My parents are dead, remember? You told me so when I was four years old.”

She gave me a sad smile and I recoiled from it, not sure that I wanted to hear what was going to come out of her mouth next.

“I’m so sorry, Elsie, but these are your parents. My older sister and brother-in-law.”

“How could this be? Did you know they were alive all this time?”

“Not all this time. When your uncle and I told you that your parents were gone, we thought that to be the case but—”
“But what?”
“I received a letter from your mother three years ago explaining the situation. The four of us decided that we would not tell you until we knew if they would be able to communicate with you.”

“Three years? You’ve known for three years that my parents are, in fact, alive and you didn’t tell me? How could you do that Aunt Josie?”
I stood up abruptly, spilling some tea. I ignored it as I sat my cup on the table in the middle of the room. Aunt Josie stood as well and reached for me but I stepped back. She let her hand fall heavily back to her side.

“Elsie, listen”
“You lied to me,” I said in a voice thick with tears.

“I’m so sorry, Els. I just... your parents asked us not to tell you. And we agreed it would be best to keep this from you for the time being. Why don’t you sit down and the three of us can explain everything to you?”

I shook my head. I could feel the tears about to come and I didn’t want to cry in front of them. I turned and hurried to the front door. I ignored my aunt’s call for me to come back.
I ran around the house to the stables and hopped onto my black and gray mare, Polka Dot. I spurred her into a gallop. I rode until we made it to the coast. I stopped Dot in the grass before the sandy beach because she hated how it felt. I left her to graze while I walked onto the shore. I dropped down onto the ground, letting my dress billow around me. I felt numb. How could this be happening? I’ve been grieving my parents for fourteen years and now I’m told they have been alive all this time. I stared at the clear blue sky in a daze. The waves were crashing onto the shore, drowning out all other noise. I continued to stare into the distance, not thinking about anything.

“There you are,” Henry said from behind me, startling me.

He dropped down beside me on the beach and I glanced at him out of the side of my eye.

“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be at the clinic?”

“Mother sent Petey to get me to come find you. She told me briefly what’s going on.”
“Yeah.”

“So your parents are alive?”

“So it seems.”
“You do realize that you are going to have to talk to them?” he asked. “They may have a perfectly logical reason for doing what they did.”
“I’m sure they think they have a perfectly logical reason for doing what they did,” I countered. “But it doesn’t change the fact that they abandoned me, Henry.”

“I’m not saying it changes anything, Elsie. I’m saying you should hear their side of the story.”
I finally looked at him. “Did you know?”
“How could I have known? I was away at school when they sent the letter before and there’s no way they would have told me,” he said, sounding a bit offended.

I apologized and shook my head. I turned my gaze away from him and looked back towards the churning sea. This was all such a mess and not something I ever envisioned dealing with. I remember the moment when my aunt and uncle sat me down to tell me that my mother and father had died. I was only four years old at the time but I understood that they weren’t coming back.

~~~

“Elizabeth, darling,” Aunt Josie said. “We need to talk to you.”

I stood up and left my cousins to follow my aunt out of the room I shared with my cousin, Victoria. She took my hand as we slowly made our way down the stairs. My other hand was pressed against the wall. I was scared of stairs after falling down them a few months ago. We finally made it to the bottom and I let out the breath I was holding. She led me into the family room where Uncle Eric was waiting. I smiled at him and he gave me a sad smile. I let go of Aunt Josie’s hand and walked to him. I put my hand on his cheek.

“What’s wrong, Uncle?”

He lifted me onto his lap and my aunt sat beside her. He switched me to his other leg so that I was facing my aunt too.

“Elizabeth,” Aunt Josie said, and her voice did a funny thing.

“Darling,” Uncle Eric said. “Your parents aren’t coming to Daemarrel.”

“Why?”

Aunt Josie started to cry, which made me start to cry. Uncle Eric wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the top of my head.

“There was an incident. They can’t come, sweetheart. They will never come again because they are gone.”

“Gone? Like Grandmother?”

Aunt Josie nodded and I started crying harder. She took me from my uncle’s lap and cradled me in her arms. She rocked me back and forth, telling me it was going to be okay and that she’d always be there for me.

~~~

I let out an angry breath.
“Your mother and your father lied to me,” I said. “They saw what it did to me when I lost my parents. How could they keep this from me for three more years?”

“I’m sure they had a valid explanation. Father is home so I need to get back to the clinic and you need to go face this.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I know you don’t and if I could be there with you, I would, but you can do this. Just listen to them.”

With a sigh, I stood up and so did Henry. We walked back to our horses that were grazing together in the grass. I wiped at the stupid tears that had started again. Henry noticed and pulled me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him. He rubbed my back like he’d done when I was a kid and would go into his room when I was afraid of the dark. I couldn’t stop the tears that I was sure were wetting his shirt. I’ve always hated how quickly I could be brought to tears when I was sad, angry, or frustrated.

“It’s going to be okay, Elsie. We’ll be here for you and help you through this.”

By ‘we’ he meant him, his sisters and his brother. My cousins. I sighed and pulled away from him. I needed to face this; I couldn’t hide forever.

“We should go back,” I said quietly.
I pulled away from him and saw him nodding. I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my dress. I walked to Polka Dot and patted her neck. She looked up at me and nuzzled my chest. I hugged her with a sad smile.

“You ready to go home, Dot?”

She snorted. I patted her neck again before climbing into the saddle. I saw that Henry was already on his brown chestnut horse, Chestnut. He wasn’t very creative in naming his horse. He’d say the same about me since my horse had spots all over her but I didn’t agree. We turned our horses around and headed back home at a quick trot. I looked at the countryside around me. It was the beginning of spring so the trees were starting to get their leaves back and the grass was starting to turn green again. I loved spring. It was a new beginning and the world was waking up after hibernating for the winter. When it was in full swing, it was the bursts of color in nature that made my soul happy. I hated the dreary winters when we had to stay inside most of the time. I hated the snow and rain that we had to deal with during those times. I sighed. It was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining brightly in the sky, the flowers were blooming, and small animals were scurrying about. When I’d gone home, I had only planned to pack a lunch for myself and go to the beach for a picnic and enjoy this day.

Now I was heading back home to talk to the parents I’ve grieved over the last fourteen years. I did not want to have this talk. I did not want to have deal with this right now or, in fact, ever.